I notice that high catholic mucky-mucks like to issue a Bull from time to time. I have considerable Bull to offer as well. So in a spirit of generosity and helpfulness to the struggling public I present the following: A Review of Sociological and Religious Thinking on the Gender Based Toilet Seat Controversy with a Final Decree. Lots of us are aware to our annoyance that prissy women demand that the seat be left down. Are they afraid they will fall in? But what sort of person does not look before she/he squats? And if we are obliged to lower the seat for them, do they return the favor and lift the seat for our convenience? No. They want it down for their next sitting. Of course when down it is likely to be drizzled on by aimless males. Do they accept that? Hell No! If we are to go to the effort of lowering the damn thing can’t they go to the effort to raising it. Gravity favors them; it is easier to lower than lift. But they are so stubborn and vexing that I put the issue to a jury of philosophers, theologians and sociologists of all the possible genders. Their conclusion is unknown. They are still quarreling. So the only thing to do is to settle this myself now and for all times. And here is my conclusion: Lower both the seat and the lid. That way everyone will be annoyed but equitably annoyed. That is it; let’s hear no more about it.