BILL TELLS ABOUT RELIGION In these short essays Bill van Druten figures out just what the hell is going on around here. And then he lets all the rabbits out of the hat for us. BLASPHEMY AND INVISIBILITY It doesn’t matter how comical or stupid it is, if you poke fun at a religious concept be prepared for indignant cries of outrage and accusations of blasphemy! Religionists are touchy about joking and telling the truth. They expect us to honor even the most bizarre claims with speechless awe. A little gulp is about all you can get away with when they tell you there is only one god but it is three gods and a bunch of saints and angels and stuff like that all pushed together. Ask to see that one god that is three gods. It would be a fascinating sight and prove their claim. Go ahead, ask! Oh no, you can’t see that! It/they is/are invisible! But yes, god will provide 72 virgins and immediate seating at the eternal banquet for murder-suicide. Yes, another virgin had a baby from one of those invisible gods. [That was a merry prank cause part of the god that got her preggers was the son that she produced later. That caper deserves a separate essay.] And Yes, crackers really turn into a dead guy’s two thousand year old flesh. And then they eat it! Yes, and popes can be infallible when they the feel the urge. You think I am exaggerating don’t you, but I know actual Americans who have been to high school who say they believe that stuff, and no winking. The conflicting magic of the mormons and baptists are both sacred and must be tolerated by congregationalists and presbyterians and jehova’s witnesses. Why do they do that? I know why! They don’t want to look too closely at their own brand of nonsense so they go easy on the others. You see there is a truce in effect for religious magicians. Don’t make fun of mine and I will overlook the silly parts of yours. My stuff is sacred and mustn’t be questioned. So yours can be sacred too if you want. When you think about it, invisibility and blasphemy claims are cool tricks that have done well for the religion industry. But when you recognize that it is all thought control and superstition, well, poof……….. YOU ARE FREE! Bill is just one actual person and not invisible and he tells the truth. That proves he is not a god so don’t believe him. god