Showing posts with label Vinegarettes Of Our Times. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Vinegarettes Of Our Times. Show all posts
EVER TO BE HELPFUL, THE FOLLOWING PIECE OF MINE WAS PRINTED IN OUR NEWSPAPER
The episodic national medical blood shortages have a simple solution. Catholic priests convert huge amounts of so-so wine into real blood of the highest quality every week. At least that is their claim and they collect a lot of money based in part on that claim. If each diocese would make extra and divert Sunday's left over blood to local hospitals in Jesus' name, the results would be startling. Even if they restricted it to Catholics, it would ease the shortage for everyone. In case they are just kidding about 'transubstantiation' or if it is a fraud, I will give blood the usual way.
Response letters to the editor were jolly good too. One writer was not amused. He called me a 'militant public atheist' and said my report was a 'gratuitous insult' and that he didn't think I believed in the existence of a 'supernatural order.' Bingo! Except that I do not have a militia; probably I should hire soon.
Saturday, August 14, 2010 | Labels: Vinegarettes Of Our Times | 0 Comments
ANOTHER DAMN SALAD DRESSING
Bill is off duty again so as usual he has shoved his responsibilities over to me, Ralph, his Co-adjuter Plenipotentiary. I do love the title but the salary is pathetic for a learned person as I. I have objected but Bill tells me that co-adjutors are plentiful in the bushes and I could even be replaced with a nuncio or defrocked archie-bish. He pays on time and provides dental coverage so I just put up with him.
Bill suggests these Vinegarettes be read sparingly. Best is to sprinkle them between more leafy reading matter because too much of his junk gives many readers spasms in the belly and the fantods. Some readers want Bill to add sugar to his recipe but Bill said he tried sugar and it took all the joy out of it for him.
What gets Bill's crank over wound is the way 'intelligent' folk swallow down their ill-sauced religious salad and defer to the quackos on Sunday. He is amazed at their refusal to contradict religious pronouncements or even question them or better to stand up in church and say, "Oh, Bull Shit! You know that is a lie!"
I do sympathise with Bill on that. Those people don't even take note that churches, gogues, and mooshies (that is the name for the islam places) are all telling children different stories as real fact.
I asked Bill why he hasn't informed the public about that. He says that many people have tried but get crumpled up or burnt as blasphemers (that is the make believe offense that they pull out when troubled by reality). Bill feels he can be more informative with his vinegar and oil mix. Personally I think he is typing into the wind but it makes him happy. And he needs to do something besides watching all his favorite girlie porn to justify the purchase of his new peuter.
Anyway, that is the way I see it and it is enough for this Vinegarette. Ralph
Saturday, August 14, 2010 | Labels: Religious Curiosities, Vinegarettes Of Our Times | 1 Comments
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