BREAKING NEWS, ER.......BROKEN NEWS
INTERNATIONAL NEWS BULLETIN:
Foreskin of Jesus found at Lester Park, Duluth, Minnesota. Incredible as it seems, fishermen found the wrinkled thing and were going to use is as bait when a label was noticed on the underside. Translated from Canadian French it read, "Property of Jesus ben Joseph, if found please return to the nearest Moron Church.
Foreskin of Jesus found at Lester Park, Duluth, Minnesota. Incredible as it seems, fishermen found the wrinkled thing and were going to use is as bait when a label was noticed on the underside. Translated from Canadian French it read, "Property of Jesus ben Joseph, if found please return to the nearest Moron Church.
Historians now believe that Mr. Jesus was born in New York and later went to Quebec on missionary work with his close friend Tonto. Additionally it has been established that his father was Joseph Smith, founder of the Moron Church. It seems that fur trading frenchmen had snatched his thingamabob in a religious massacre and sold it to indians who worshiped it as a piece of the GREAT BOOGA BOOGA, (the indian earth god ). A scalp found nearby may be associated with the thingamabob.
We await further developments in this amazing story.
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5 comments:
Salt Lake City: High church officials responded:
Yes, indeed we want it back so who has it now? Currently our bald preserved body of Jesus lacks a thingamabob. Also we need the scalp!
No! Dammit there is no reward! Give it back cause that is the Moron thing to do.
No reward, no foreskin fargin' iceholes.
In fact morons, we are holding the wrinkly dinky for ransom. Put $800,000 U.S. in to our checking account pronto or we will lite up a grill and see how it sizzles. You will see smoke if you don't pay up damn soon.
Just a friendly reminder. Sell your silly tabernacle if you have to but don't shilly-shally on us.
4800,000
Hey, why are they called the Church of the Ladder Day Saints?
Anyone know?
Of all the bizarre cults of recent times, the Morons, the Cargo Cults, Scientology and Christian Science, the morons are the best demonstration of the crappy education and gullibility of Homo non-sapiens.
Socrates
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