Oh, I suppose any beer will do for you but for me could it be a crisp Dutch, German or Czech Pilsner please?  I am happy with good crisp bacon too or some nice crispy cookies, oatmeal preferred.   Leave it on the fireplace mantle.  I’ll come down the chimbly and eat it (wink, wink).  I’d appreciate it if you would extinguish the fire first or Santa will be crispy too.

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Geting ready for the Holly Daze you will need a pretty wreath for your front door.  You get them from your local bigoted boy scout group.   They have an equivalent to the military don’t ask/don’t tell policy.   They will not have any atheist children you see because they could expose the entire imaginary god sham.  One bad apple in the basket can rot out the entire troop according to the old sooth saying.  Scout leaders don’t care what make believe deity you choose if you pick a higher power from an approved assortment.  No, gravity or the strong nuclear force will not help you here; that would be cheating.  Maybe it is because gravity sucks everything into the hellish hot inferno inside of down under and we don't mean Australia.    The scout people will accept any god on their list  even gods that deny, hate and kill each other.  Seems unlikely to generate a peaceful or rational boy scout environment but that is the way it is so take it or lump it.   They will even accept the god of the Moron Church who was only invented in the nineteenth century.  Yes, Joseph, the Con, Smith invented the whole thing claiming he read about it on pure golden tablets.   So if the scouts will accept his crap or the catholic gods or the islammy god I say it is just a mess. 

There are twelve scout attributes or Laws: A Scout is Trustworthy, Loyal, Helpful, Friendly, Courteous, Kind, Obedient, Cheerful, Thrifty, Brave,  IRRATIONAL and GULLIBLE.    

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For a snappy Xmas party invite your local priest, imam and rabbi in for a egg nog and social chat about the meaning of the season.  Have plenty of booze or even injectable tranquilizers on hand for the exciting part.  Seasonal colors are Red and Green.  Have holly strewn about and the guests will sprinkle their bright red blood around to complete the decor for you.  

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