IT WASN'T THE GRINCH THAT STOLE CHRISTMAS.........
It wasn’t the Grinch that stole Christmas, it was the Christians!
Yes, a splinter jewish cult did it. They are only the most recent to do it and I propose that we return the damn thing to its original owner (if we can locate him or her.) It puzzles me why any one would want such a preposterous story. A maiden gets knocked up by some god while she isn’t paying attention to business and keeping her legs closed as a good girl should. Really you would have to be a moron to believe it unless you just accepted it as true from early childhood brain-washing. Even then you would expect an adult to put it by like the Tooth Fairy for whom in fact we have more evidence (coins under the pillow).
I checked the story out a bit. It seems that people have long enjoyed to celebrate the passing of winter, the solstice, and look forward to the end of cold and approach of spring. What the hell? Where did these people live, in Florida or in Africa or some sandy islammy country? If they lived where I live they would look forward to more months of winter and then to the tough sledding months. But that is my own fault for moving to Minnesota. Never mind; whatever.
In Italy they loved the Saturnalia at about the same time and it was jolly good fun in honor of Jupiter, no sorry, Saturn. That guy was in charge of agriculture and every one just had the best time getting drunk and doing a lot of naughty things. But they also favored Mithra, a damn fine god who was born on December 25th.
There is no good reason for believing the imaginary Jesus guy was born on Mithra’s birthday but pope Julius the oneth, chose it to swoop up the date and steal the traditions of the Saturnalia festival. It was a sly but successful maneuver.
Yet in my country the holiday has moved away from the Christian usurpers to become a time to slaughter perfectly good little trees and lop the heads off innocent turkeys. (Though people who live with or near turkeys find them to be stupid and smelly and quarrelsome so probably they should get beheaded and roasted). They are damn good roasted; behave much better too. A little gravy and cranberry helps. And if you try to buy one at your grocery you will have to hold your hands over your ears to get past the cacophony from the Salvation Army with their kettles to catch your coins so they can spread the phony Christmas story to credulous children. (I belong to the Salivation Army, another group entirely; we just love to eat.) But you can do it, get past the bell ringers, give them the finger not your money; be brave. Cook up a great meal; share gifts; enjoy the santa myth and sing songs by the fire but…..
.....please can we all do our best to keep the silly christians out of Xtmas. Thank you.
Friday, October 01, 2010
|
Labels:
Religious Curiosities
|
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
Oh, Lord of all Creation, help us in this time of persecution. Where is Billy Graham or Pattie Robertson or Tammy Faye when we need them? Get busy, smite someone and stop sitting around counting your money for Cheeses Sake!
Sheesh, Bill is right; it is a scam! Lets get behind bill and give a poke in the ass to spur him on (ladies only for this, please). Any way you the drift. Bill needs our help on this. Don't tell anyone about his blog but pass it on.
No, No, Bill is a swell guy and deserves our admiration and he should have the Nobel Prize for True Talk. Not only that but can we all send him 12 thousand dollars American for encouragement. But don't tell the IRS. They are hungry for other people's money and can't get enough. Just slip the funds into his mail box with a kindly note. If only two hundred of us will do that he will be ever so grateful and possibly throw a party for us if it doesn't cost too much.
Careful on this; we read bill's stuff and will put a lien or lein on his personal pancreas (what ever is left of it) if he tries that crap. IRS agent, Bobby pope whatever is next XIIV3 OE XIVVTHIRTY SEVEN. Even though we enjoy his shit we must do our duty to god and country.
You guys can have this pancreas. I am getting a new one with some islets of langerhans or even better Galapagos Islands where it all started according to Mr. Hugh Darwin.
Post a Comment