DO WHATEVER BETTY WANTS BUT BE CAREFUL

OK, so our former household cleaning person, a woman referred to by my wife as The Cleaning Lady, got very tired of us and spent less and less time cleaning our home.  It got to 38 minutes when my wife objected and she up and fired the person because even my wife knew we were dirtier than that.

La, but now we have a new 'Cleaning  Lady', Betty.   Betty will deign to do us if we buy an up to date vacuum.   (I don't know why vacuum needs two 'u's either but that is the way Betty wants it).  So today came by  pony express delivery a lovely new pony.   No, just teasing.  Came really the XL-72-UltraVac with Uranium Power.     Now we already had a Zircon XXX Vac with hyper suck which had replaced our Zippo Uber-Power Vac with cigarette lighter accessory.

Before you plug in a XL-72-UltraVac with Uranium Power, you very much better read the directions and cautionary warnings.

 DO NOT US THIS VAC IF YOU HAVE A PACEMAKER OR ANY BIONIC STRUCTURES IN YOUR OWN PERSONAL BODY!

DO NOT PLACE THE MEGA SUCK END ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR DENTAL FILLINGS OR YOU BELLY.   WE HAVE HAD REPORTS OF, "CLINK, THERE GOES ALL MY GOLD FILLINGS, AND BRIDGES".   

The gold will be sucked out and sent to XL-72-UltraVac with Uranium Power Central where they cash it in for big money.  In the case of your belly, your innie button will become a very, very outtie button but they don't want you to send any of it in to Central.  With XL-72-UltraVac with Uranium Power you needn't turn on any lights.  It glows of its own accord.   So I expect we will save on lighting.

Ok, what ever Betty wanted she has gotten.  I will be out of the house when she loads that thing up with fresh volts.  You should be out too or Satan will have you in his filter basket in a twinkling or in a trice whichever is more Satanic.   However today my own wife tried out the XL-72-UltraVac for its first tour and for her last tour.   She sucked up rugs and even most of the fire irons.   And now she doesn't need any night lights.    Give it plenty of credit, that Ultra-Vac with nuclear fusion power can do the job and a lot more.   Say good by to anything you have left strewn about: it is all fissionable material now.

Say what you will about atomic energy.  (I had shoes fitted by X and Z rays in the 30's and 40's.   Didn't hurt me none.  I just get shoes with two big toes and that is on each foot.)

So Betty will come soon in her lead apron and VAC the hell out of our home.  We might become borne again or morons.    I will report.