OH, STRANGE, BRAVE NEW WORLD


The behaviors of our youth today astound me.  I am older now and haven’t adjusted to the new ways.  It is my fault of course but when I see an automobile driver coming at me with a hot dog or a telephone in one hand, I tend to hug the gutter to my right. 


Yes, it is silly of me but I grew up in the two hands on the wheel and both eyes on the road days.  So when I am confronted with a young chicken heatedly chattering at her hand held cell phone and she is approaching me in her daddy-bought hubba-hubba-moble, I get sweaty.  Sure I have an air bag and maybe it will protect me from her and maybe it won’t. 

But that cutie-pie gas-bag with the figurine jesus on her dashboard seems likely to violate several of my personal freedoms.  It isn’t that she wants to cram her jesus icon into my face.  She doesn’t even know I am an atheist.  She doesn’t care about me at all.   Oh, sure, after the smash-up she will apologize all over my body; probably prey for me even.  But if her precious little cell phone is damaged there will really be some whining and pouting.

So when that little air-head came toward me yesterday, phone in hand and gesturing with the other, well hell!  I was wishing I had gone catholic and had at least a St. Chrispie medal or a BVM on my dashboard.  Damn it, that was close!

I don’t want anybody, even if she is a real cutie-pie, gesturing and phoning and driving at me.  Please!  Lets have at least one hand free for steering cause the only thing I got on my dashboard is a fading picture of Carl Sagan.  I don’t know how much protection Carl will be. 

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