People have complained, "Bill, you only write essays on the folly of religious superstition: don't you have anything else to tell us?" Well, yes, I do, and that brings me to make the following true report.
The grandchildren burst our whoopee cushion recently. They brought it to me insisting they were only using in the proper manner; they had not abused it in any way. They showed me that the rupture had occurred at a defective spot in the rubber.
And they were right. I couldn't be harsh with them, which was all the more annoying because my temper was worked up and I couldn't use it. I held up pretty well though I am sure it weakened me internally. Anyway, when I was calm again I assured them we would find a replacement as soon as possible. No one wants to be without a functioning whoopee cushion for very long.
I bring this to your attention not to brag about my self-control, although it was pretty good, but rather so you can avoid my mistakes. Don't be too quick to punish the young people. And when you purchase a whoopee cushion, don't go for the cheaper product as I did. Look for the best quality available.