They look so shocked and wounded when you laugh at their gods. Then they gather themselves up and get all outraged and want to burn you on their sticks.
They just have no sense of humor whatsoever.
It isn't personal though because they are just as happy to burn each other and abuse their neighbor's gods. But they can never see their own imaginings as superstition. And here is the most comical part. They really expect us to RESPECT the silly things they claim to believe. Yes! They yell, BLASPHEMY! as if that were a legitimate thing instead of just their ploy to stifle comedy and prevent open evaluation of their ludicrous assertions.
When a child molester in a black suit waves the beads and tells you he will now turn your wine into a dead guy's blood, he expects to be believed and for you to assume a hushed and credulous attitude. And then, without a thought for HIV/AIDS or Hepatitis C, he wants you to drink that wine! Well, I know plenty of folks who don't believe a word of that lame trickery but will sit still on their bench and let him get away with it without a murmur of protest or even a wink to their neighbor. Those saps only look at their feet and wait for the magic show to pass so they can get at the doughnuts and coffee. And they have been to high school and have jobs. People of stouter heart bring a crossword puzzle to take their mind off the idiocy. But they never stand to say, “OH, BULL SHIT. WHAT A LIAR!,” as they should.
Oh, you can tell the truth in public but don't expect to be popular at parties. In fact you will have to gather the four or five honest people in your community and set up your own party where you can enjoy the comedy of the religion industry. That is if you aren't crying too hard or maybe badly charred.
© 2005 William van Druten