FLESHING OUT THE REAL STORY IN THE BIG BOOK
So recently about easter time I fretted over Jesus and how he
suffered when they nailed him out to dry.
But hold on here, he was a god so he had all the
valium and ether he could use. But then I forgot about it for a while. But then I noticed that they said he was dead for three days then got up again smelling a bit off but moving about. But then I wanted to believe because it is required
for all us to believe it if we want to go avoid a rather long over heated
Texas style eternity. (Had enough 'Buts thens for a while?) So I set my mind to the task of working out the details which were not
provided.
Jesus, god and
the ghost are all the same guys that is for sure. They are the three-in-one oil, the 10-30 weight oil of the
god biz. But, Aye, Here is the
rub. If Jesus was dead three days
that means that god and the ghost were dead as well. So who was on duty for the interim?
Could have been Mary, the BVM. Could have been Thor or Baal. I voted for Baal because he is easy to
spell; one 'a', two 'a's, he doest care. Then I discovered, by
putting a rock in my hat and wandering about like Joseph Smith*, I discovered the lost book of SATAN.
*'What the hell was he, Joseph S. doing with a rock on his head', you ask. Well, he was bonkers of course but that is the way he discovered the fucking golden tablets. You remember now of course. But that is told in a whole nother essay.
Back not to SATAN! Yes, sirey or mammary, SATAN is a very
son of god like Jesus. They are brothers
you see. SATAN didn’t get
into the Trilogy like Jesus and that soured him on their enterprise. So to soothe him god gave SATAN permission to screw around with us. Everything SATAN does
carries the full FAITH and IMPRIMATURE
of god. God lets SATAN do as
he likes for some reason we are not given. I think it is because god has a his shadenfreude, his dark
side. He likes to watch misery and
porno but avoids the guilt by having SATAN do it for god to watch. Hey, I may have shined this up a bit but it is all in the BIG BOOK.
So SATAN had his
three days but was recalled out of there. Still
he likes to do evil for god’s prurient needs. But don't feel sorry for SATAN, he will have his day again when the final
trumpet sounds and army of geddon marches out. Yes, it is in Leviticus or Eccleasticles or some where
in THE BIG BOOK OF SNARKYNESS.
It is ALL in BIG
BOOK. If you haven’t got one
steal one from your next hotel room.
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