Bill tells about religion in his sindickelated essays.  Here is another one that confirms what his college English professor said about Bill’s future in the literary arts.  

I knew what I was in for so I brought crossword puzzles; but I never got to them. When we weren’t singing, the industrial grade religious artifacts demanded my attention. I imagined the ghoulish committee that had selected and placed them. A remarkably thin wire held up heavy planks surmounted by two steel hoops with ugly prongs. I think it meant to be a thorny crown on a cross. It distracted me considerably from the liturgy to estimate when the wire would snap and what the remainders of the lucky people below would look like and whether it would be at all worth while calling paramedics. 

Anyway, we sang pretty good.  I must say the experience was reassuring because everyone said the same old lies with the same earnest faces that would convince their neighbors how devoutly they believed what they pretended to believe but could never believe unless they were morons. And I knew I didn’t need to go back for another long time because they hadn’t learned a damn thing since I was last there.  I do my best to help these people with my essays but they are just not getting it.   I probably should use much simpler words.