from PUDENDA WILSON'S ALMANAC
You don't know about PUDENDA WILSON without you read a book by Mister Mark Twain, but that ain't no matter. One of his books tells about PUDDENHEAD WILSON AND HIS ALMANAC. Most people don't know that PUDDENHEAD had a daughter called PUDENDA and she made a almanac too. The stuff that follows is from her book which is all a jumble of her thoughts. Some are agates, most are just glassies. It is printed on four inch scrolls and perforated for convenience.
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PUDENDA WILSON’S ALMANAC
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I meet a lot of college ‘educated’ people who know all about priestly child sex education. And they wince up their faces at me when I ask them about the wine and cracker myth or the pope’s infallibility cloak and all the rest of that stuff. But they still belong to that club and give money and let the magicians tell black lies to their children! IS CONTEMPT TOO SOFT?
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Really, have we thought through the long-term consequences of the new energy saving schemes? What if we suck up too much of Mother Nature’s winds for electricity, might the earth get tired and slow down. Or even stop turning around altogether with one side, Texas, getting roasted crispy and the arabs facing away freeze up solid from no sun at all? We can only hope, I guess.
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“CALIFORNIA OR BUST!” That was the slogan of the covered wagon migrants heading west in the old days. And it seems to have worked out for them. That state is flat busted now. Well, not Hollywood. It isn’t flat. It is silicon busted.
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And speaking of Botany, a friend brought me a plant called, “Hello Vera.” She said that the plant clears up skin troubles. I don’t see how. It is all prickly and looks menacing. I had to move it away from my bed as it kept growing and threatened to poke holes in me as I slept. Later she told me I needed to slice it sideways and get out the slimy goo. She promised that I would get over the smell and my complexion will glow of my former youthful glory that I don’t recall ever having. Possibly my acne might even calm down at last. I’ll let you know.
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Sunday, August 15, 2010
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2 comments:
I certainly hope that more of these will be found. Look in caves and behind the book shelf. We need more of Pudenda's helpful thoughts.
Rabid Reader
I vigorously agree with Rabid Reader. Pudenda is really 'incitful'. I can't wait for more of her vinegar. Look around in the bathroom cabinet. Gotta be more in there.
Admirer
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